Self-reflection
I get up late in the morning, actually it already beyond the noon. I found I am too late to do anything recently even cook for myself. I am so freaking hungry. “Should I eat out or cook for myself?” I asked myself. I know nothing about cooking, the cooking things is killing me when I come here. I hate it not because it is complicated, but also because I am sick of oil smoke. I cannot stand smoke is filled everywhere in my room and you can even smell it in you clothes. Anyway I must do it on my own, and I have to lean how to cook or I will die of starve.
You may always point one’s nose said easily you should add more salt or less pepper that will be great. When you do it yourself, it is a completely different story. You do not when the good timing to add the ingredients is and how much you should add. Everyone knows Chinese dishes are much more complex and hard to handle. You do not know how long it will take to ready. When stir-fry in Chinese way the oil is most important, however, when oil meets water it will cause a dramatic effect. No one would not afraid of been burned. I even ran away afterwards you could imagine how awful it was. I realized life could be that tuff when you start to run around it by yourself. A little difference can make a big change
I have to overcome all the difficulties and I have to start my social life. It was distinctive from high school life. Not everyone was nice to you. In addition, you have to distinguish this of people into two groups who can be you real friends however others are just some pass-by. If not, you will hurt yourself some way. I never thought that I would have hard time due to my friend. No one could help you apart from yourself only. Even if you did nothing to someone else, it is not equivalent to someone else will not do some bad to you. I really puzzled about getting along with people. There make me crazy and I do want to deal with things like that.
I study abroad by myself far away from my family and friends, so I have to be strong and learn how to live on my own. Everything seems complicated to me, I must do everything that I have never imagined before when I was in China. I used to be dependent on my family for my entire life: there is nothing I should worry about except study well which is different from the America and some European countries that students are suggested to have to some jobs outside the campus. Therefore, the only staff is to study harder and harder. The only way out is to entrance a famous college and with this you are supposed to have a good job in the future.
Life seems to be more and more complicated than it used to be, and sometimes I cannot handle on my own anymore, and then feel desperate. Therefore, I need to find a place to be alone and clear up the messy thoughts in my mind. I have to release a little bit otherwise I would have some psychological problems.
Recently I realized that I am easy to cry even there is nothing happened to me. I do not think it is a mature behavior that I cry for no reason - it is just the feel: lonely and stressed. What makes me cautious is that I must pay attention to my emotional part; I want to do something about it, but I cannot, including my only task - study or even hang out with friends. I do not feel like do something, but leave myself alone in the room.
I have no idea what is the matter with me, so I guess I have been lost and I could not find the way out. Nobody understands me including myself. I am trying to adjust myself maybe that is maturation. I am in the vary time of growing up.
Thing I have been through only belong to the past, so I do not want to recall anything really hurt me before anymore that may drag me down. At this moment, I am trying to be positive and optimistic. And I did so ,it seems works I guess!
I get up late in the morning, actually it already beyond the noon. I found I am too late to do anything recently even cook for myself. I am so freaking hungry. “Should I eat out or cook for myself?” I asked myself. I know nothing about cooking, the cooking things is killing me when I come here. I hate it not because it is complicated, but also because I am sick of oil smoke. I cannot stand smoke is filled everywhere in my room and you can even smell it in you clothes. Anyway I must do it on my own, and I have to lean how to cook or I will die of starve.
You may always point one’s nose said easily you should add more salt or less pepper that will be great. When you do it yourself, it is a completely different story. You do not when the good timing to add the ingredients is and how much you should add. Everyone knows Chinese dishes are much more complex and hard to handle. You do not know how long it will take to ready. When stir-fry in Chinese way the oil is most important, however, when oil meets water it will cause a dramatic effect. No one would not afraid of been burned. I even ran away afterwards you could imagine how awful it was. I realized life could be that tuff when you start to run around it by yourself. A little difference can make a big change
I have to overcome all the difficulties and I have to start my social life. It was distinctive from high school life. Not everyone was nice to you. In addition, you have to distinguish this of people into two groups who can be you real friends however others are just some pass-by. If not, you will hurt yourself some way. I never thought that I would have hard time due to my friend. No one could help you apart from yourself only. Even if you did nothing to someone else, it is not equivalent to someone else will not do some bad to you. I really puzzled about getting along with people. There make me crazy and I do want to deal with things like that.
I study abroad by myself far away from my family and friends, so I have to be strong and learn how to live on my own. Everything seems complicated to me, I must do everything that I have never imagined before when I was in China. I used to be dependent on my family for my entire life: there is nothing I should worry about except study well which is different from the America and some European countries that students are suggested to have to some jobs outside the campus. Therefore, the only staff is to study harder and harder. The only way out is to entrance a famous college and with this you are supposed to have a good job in the future.
Life seems to be more and more complicated than it used to be, and sometimes I cannot handle on my own anymore, and then feel desperate. Therefore, I need to find a place to be alone and clear up the messy thoughts in my mind. I have to release a little bit otherwise I would have some psychological problems.
Recently I realized that I am easy to cry even there is nothing happened to me. I do not think it is a mature behavior that I cry for no reason - it is just the feel: lonely and stressed. What makes me cautious is that I must pay attention to my emotional part; I want to do something about it, but I cannot, including my only task - study or even hang out with friends. I do not feel like do something, but leave myself alone in the room.
I have no idea what is the matter with me, so I guess I have been lost and I could not find the way out. Nobody understands me including myself. I am trying to adjust myself maybe that is maturation. I am in the vary time of growing up.
Thing I have been through only belong to the past, so I do not want to recall anything really hurt me before anymore that may drag me down. At this moment, I am trying to be positive and optimistic. And I did so ,it seems works I guess!
